Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
