A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
