hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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