so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
