garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
