I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My pussy is not your playground.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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