that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
