do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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