He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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