you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
