Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
