You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize