I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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