youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize