So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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