oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he shaved USA in his pubs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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