i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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