i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
