Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
