He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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