Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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