She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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