i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
