Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
