You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize