4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
