do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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