OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
