my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
