I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We are two peas in an std pod
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize