imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
