Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish you could order shots online.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
