So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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