i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
