You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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