i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
PANTIES FOUND
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
