no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
