u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
