I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
