Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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