he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
