so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
