Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
