Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
