My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
