how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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