Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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