i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
