So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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