I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
