If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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