what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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