Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
