i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
