If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
