There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
