We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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