So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
