i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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