if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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