You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize