I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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